Wednesday, 1 February 2012
1: Their last name stays with them forever,
2: Phone conversations last just for 30 secs flat,
3: A five day vacation requires only one jeans,
4: If someone forgets to invite them, he can still be their friend,
5: The same hairstyle lasts for years or even decades,
6: They can do shopping for 25 relatives in 25 minutes,
7: They don't freak out when they go to a party n see another man wearing the same shirt, instead they become buddies !!!
Tuesday, 31 January 2012
“எங்கள் கண்களை மூடி பிரார்த்திக்கச் சொன்னார்கள்
கண்களை மூடிய பொழுது நாடு எங்கள் கைகளிலும்
பைபிள் அவர்கள் கைகளிலும் இருந்தது.
கண்களை திறந்த போது தான் உணர்ந்தோம்
பைபிள் எங்கள் கைகளிலும்
நாடு அவர்கள் கைகளிலும் மாறியது”
“உலகின் எல்லா நாடுகளிலும் மதமாற்றம் செய்யும் போது
பலத்த எதிர்ப்பு கிளம்பியது ஆனாலும் சில ஆண்டுகளில்
அதை கிருஸ்துவ நாடக மாற்றி விட்டோம்.
இந்தியாவிலோ எங்களுக்கு பலத்த எதிர்ப்பு இல்லை
250 ஆண்டுகளுக்குப் பின்பும்
எங்களால் இந்தியாவை இன்னும் கிருஸ்துவ நாடாக
–இந்திய கிருஸ்துவர்கள் மொழி
நம் தர்மத்தை யாராலும் அழிக்க முடியாது. ஆனாலும் நாம் விழித்துக் கொள்ளவில்லை என்றால் நம்மை காப்பற்றிக் கொள்ளவே முடியாது.
பாதகம் செய்வோரைக் கண்டால்
பயங் கொளல் ஆகாது பாப்பா
மோதி மிதித்து விடு பாப்பா அவர்
முகத்திலே காரி உமிழ்ந்து விடு
Friday, 25 November 2011
1.அத்தியாவசிய தேவையான அரிசியின் விலை கிலோ 30 லிருந்து 40 ரூபாய். ஆனால் சிம்கார்டு இலவசமாகக் கிடைக்கிறது..!!
2.பொது வினியோகத்தில் விற்கப்படும் அரிசியின் விலை கிலோ ஒரு ரூபாய். ஆனால் பொதுக்கழிப்பறையின் கட்டணம் மூன்று ரூபாய்..!!
3.வங்கிகளில் வாகனக் கடன்களுக்கான வட்டி 5 சதவிகிதம். ஆனால் கல்விக்கடனுக்கான வட்டி 12 சதவிகிதம்..!!
4.Pizza வீட்டிற்கு வந்து சேரும் வேகத்தில், பாதியளவு வேகத்தில் கூட அதாவது பாதி நேரத்தில் கூட அம்புலன்சும், தீயணைப்பு வாகனங்களும் வந்து சேர்வதில்லை..!!
5.ஒரு கிரிகெட் குழுவையே கோடிக்கணக்கான பணத்தைக் கொடுத்து விலைக்கு வாங்கக்கூடிய செல்வந்தர்கள் இருக்கிறார்கள். அதே பணத்தில் பத்தில் ஒரு பங்கைக்கூட நாட்டு நலப்பணிகளுக்குச் செலவு செய்யக்கூடிய செல்வந்தர்கள் மட்டும் இல்லை..!!
6. அணியும் ஆடைகளும், காலணிகளும் குளிரூட்டப்பட்ட கடைகளில் விற்கப்படுகின்றன. ஆனால் உண்ணும் காய்கறிகளும், பழங்களும் நடைபாதை கடைகளில் விற்கப்படுகின்றன..!!
7. குடிக்கும் Lemon Juice,Orange juice...etc இவையெல்லாம் செயற்கையான இரசாயனப்பொருட்களால் தயாரிக்கப்படுகின்றன. பாத்திரம் கழுவ உதவும் நீர்க் கலவை இயற்கையான எழுமிச்சையில் (லெமனில்) தயாரிக்கப்படுவதாக சொல்லப்படுகிறது..!!
8.மொத்தமாகப் பள்ளிகளையும், கல்லூரிகளையும் நடத்த வேண்டிய அரசு, வீதிக்கு வீதி சாராயம் விற்றுக்கொண்டிருக்கிறது. சாராயம் விற்றுக்கொண்டிருந்த பலர் இன்று கல்லூரிகளை வைத்து வியாபாரம் நடத்திக்கொண்டிருக்கிறார்கள்.
9.கோதுமைக்கு வரியில்லை. அது விளைபொருள். கோதுமையை மாவாகத் திரித்தால் வரியுண்டு. கோதுமை மாவை சப்பாத்தியாக செய்து விற்றால் வரியில்லை...அதே மாவை பிஸ்கட், கேக், பிரெட்டாகச் செய்து விற்றால் வரி உண்டு..!!
10.பிரபலமாக வேண்டும் என்ற அபிலாசைகள் அனைவருக்கும் உண்டு. ஆனால் பிரபலமாவதற்கு உரிய உண்மையான வழியில் செல்ல மட்டும் ஒருவருக்கும் விருப்பம் இல்லை..!!!
11.குழந்தைத் தொழிலாளர்களை ஒழிக்க வேண்டும் என்போம். ஆனால் தேநீர்க்கடைகளில் வேலை பார்க்கும் சிறுவர்கள் கொண்டு வந்து கொடுக்கும் டீயை மட்டும் சுவாரசியமாக உறிஞ்சிக்குடிப்போம்...!!!
Tuesday, 8 February 2011
Saturday, 14 August 2010
Monday, 31 May 2010
A boy and a girl were playing together. The boy had a collection of marbles. The girl had some sweets with her. The boy told the girl that he will give her all his marbles in exchange for her sweets. The girl agreed.
The boy kept the biggest and the most beautiful marble aside and gave the rest to the girl. The girl gave him all her sweets as she had promised.
That night, the girl slept peacefully. But the boy couldn't sleep as he kept wondering if the girl had hidden some sweets from him the way he had hidden his best marble.
Moral of the story:
If you don't give your hundred percent in a relationship, you'll always keep doubting if the other person has given his/her hundred percent... This is applicable for any relationship like love, employer-employee relationship, friendship etc., Give your hundred percent (confidence) to everything you do and sleep.
Saturday, 15 May 2010
To clean a toilet:
Pour a can of Coca-Cola into the toilet bowl. Let the "real thing" sit for one hour, then flush clean. The citric acid in Coke removes stains from vitreous china.
To remove rust spots from chrome car bumpers:
Rub the bumper with a crumpled-up piece of Reynolds Wrap aluminum foil dipped in Coca-Cola.
To clean corrosion from car battery terminals:
Pour a can of Coca-Cola over the terminals to bubble away the corrosion.
To loosen a rusted bolt:
Applying a cloth soaked in Coca-Cola to the rusted bolt for several minutes.
To bake a moist ham:
Empty a can of Coca-Cola into the baking pan; wrap the ham in aluminum foil, and bake. Thirty minutes before the ham is finished, remove the foil, allowing the drippings to mix with the Coke for a sumptuous brown gravy.
To remove grease from clothes:
Empty a can of Coke into a load of greasy clothes, add detergent, and run through a regular cycle. The Coca-Cola will help loosen grease stains.
It will also clean road haze from your windshield.
and WE DRINK THIS STUFF!!
Sunday, 4 April 2010
Why does night fall but never break and day break but never fall?
Why is it that when we transport something by car, it's called a shipment, but when we transport something by ship, it's called cargo?
Why are people who ride motorcycles called bikers and people who ride bikes called cyclists?
In what other language do they call the third hand on the clock the second hand?
Why is it called a TV set when you get only one?
Why - in our crazy language - can your nose run and your feet smell?
Sometimes you have to believe that all English speakers should be committed to an asylum for the verbally insane:
If olive oil is made of olives, what do they make baby oil from?
If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian consume?
A writer is someone who writes, and a stinger is something that stings.
But fingers don't fing and grocers don't groce.
If the plural of tooth is teeth, shouldn't the plural of booth be beeth?
If the teacher taught, why isn't it also true that the preacher praught?
If harmless actions are the opposite of harmful actions, why are shameless and shameful behavior the same?
English is a language in which you can turn a light on and you can turn a light off and you can turn a light out, but you can't turn a light in;
In which the sun comes up and goes down, but prices go up and come down.
In which your nose can simultaneously burn up and burn down and your car can slow up and slow down, in which you can fill in a form by filling out a form and in which your alarm clock goes off by going on.
English is a crazy language. What is it that when the sun or the moon or the stars are out, they are visible, but when the lights are out, they are invisible; and why when I wind up my watch, I start it, but when I wind up this essay, I shall end it?
Sunday, 14 February 2010
Thursday, 28 January 2010
Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!
Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI
Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX
Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX
Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX
Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX
Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX
Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX
Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX
Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE
Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE
Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX
Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait, we are about to have the funeral tax! in future.
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
after the marriage
you can read it from below to top.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
Our Birth is our Opening Balance
Our Death is our Closing Balance
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award .
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Tuesday, 22 December 2009
1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.
2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.
4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.
5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.
6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).
7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.
8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.
9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.
10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.
11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.
12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.
13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.
14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.
15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.
16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.
17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.
18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.
19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it
Tuesday, 1 December 2009
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...
A store that sells husbands has just opened in Mumbai, where a woman may go to choose a husband.
Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!
There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.
There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!
On the first floor the sign on the door reads:
Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.
The second floor sign reads:
Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.
The third floor sign reads:
Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.
" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.
She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:
Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.
"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:
Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.
She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:
Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.
Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!
Tuesday, 24 November 2009
I dreamt that I went to Heaven and an angel was showing me around. We walked side-by-side inside a large workroom filled with angels. My angel guide stopped in front of the first section and said, 'This is the Receiving Section. Here, all petitions to God said in prayer are received.'
I looked around in this area, and it was terribly busy with so many angels sorting out petitions written on voluminous paper sheets and scraps from people all over the world.
Then we moved on down a long corridor until we reached the second section.
The angel then said to me, 'This is the Packaging and Delivery Section. Here, the graces and blessings the people asked for are processed and delivered to the living persons who asked for them. 'I noticed again how busy it was there. There were many angels working hard at that station, since so many blessings had been requested and were being packaged for delivery to Earth.
Finally at the farthest end of the long corridor we stopped at the door of a very small station. To my great surprise, only one angel was seated there, idly doing nothing. 'This is the Acknowledgment Section,' my angel friend quietly admitted to me. He seemed embarrassed 'How is it that there is no work going on here?' I asked.
'So sad,' the angel sighed. 'After people receive the blessings that they asked for, very few send back acknowledgments .'
'How does one acknowledge God's blessings?' I asked.
'Simple,' the angel answered. Just say, 'Thank you, Lord.'
'What blessings should they acknowledge?' I asked.
'If you have food in the refrigerator, clothes on your back, a roof overhead and a place to sleep you are richer than 75% of this world. If you have money in the bank, in your wallet, and spare change in a dish, you are among the top 8% of the world's wealthy .'
'And if you get this on your own computer, you are part of the 1% in the world who has that opportunity.'
' If you woke up this morning with more health than illness ... you are more blessed than the many who will not even survive this day .'
'If you have never experienced the fear in battle, the loneliness of imprisonment, the agony of torture, or the pangs of starvation ... you are ahead of 700 million people in the world.'
'If you can attend a place of worship without the fear of harassment, arrest, torture or death you are envied by, and more blessed than, three billion people in the world .'
'If your parents are still alive and still married ...you are very rare .'
'If you can hold your head up and smile, you are not the norm, you're unique to all those in doubt and despair.'
Ok, what now? How can I start?
If you can read this message, you just received a double blessing in that someone was thinking of you as very special and you are more blessed than over two billion people in the world who cannot read at all.
Have a good day, count your blessings, and if you want, pass this along to remind everyone else how blessed we all are.
ATTN: Acknowledge Dept. : 'Thank you Lord, for giving me the ability to share this message and for giving me so many wonderful people to share it with"
This is crazy...!
NOTE: This is crazy...and spooky- you have got to try it!
At the end of this message, you are asked a question.
Answer it immediately. Don't stop and think about it.
Just say the first thing that pops into your mind.
This is a fun "test"... AND kind of spooky at the same time! Give it a try, then e-mail it around (including back to me) and you'll see how many people you know fall into the same percentage as you. Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2%.! You'll understand what that means after you finish taking the test".
Now... just follow the instructions as quickly as possible.
Do not go to the next calculation before you have finished the previous one.
You do not ever need to write or remember the answers, just do it using your mind.
You'll be surprised.
How much is:
15 + 6
3 + 56
89 + 2
12 + 53
75 + 26
25 + 52
63 + 32
I know! Calculations are hard work, but it's nearly over..
Come on, one more!
123 + 5
QUICK! THINK ABOUT A COLOR AND A TOOL!
Scroll further to the bottom....
A bit more...
You just thought about a red hammer ! , didn't you?
If this is not your answer, you are among 2% of people who have a different, if not abnormal, mind.
98% of the folks would answer a red hammer while doing this exercise.
If you do not believe this, pass it around and you'll see.
Be sure to put in the subject line if you are among the 98% or the 2% and send to everyone, including the person that sent it to you.