Word of advice for all women....on men

Don’t imagine you can change a man - unless he’s in nappies.

· What do you do if your boyfriend walks out? You shut the door.

· If they put a man on the moon - they should be able to put them all up there.

· Never let your man’s mind wander - it’s too little to be out alone.

· Go for the younger man. You might as well, they never mature anyway.

· Men are all the same - they just have different faces, so that you can tell them apart.

· Definition of a bachelor: a man who has missed the opportunity to make some woman miserable.

· Women don’t make fools of men - most of them are the do-it-yourself types.

· Best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he is too old for it.

· 10 Love is blind, but marriage is a real eye-opener.

· If you want a committed man, look in a mental hospital.

· The Moses wandered around the desert for 40 years. Even in Biblical times, men wouldn’t ask for directions.

· If he asks what sort of books you’re interested in, tell him cheque books.

· Remember a sense of humour does not mean that you tell him jokes, it means that you laugh at his.

· Sadly, all men are created equal!

Side effects of Alcohol and its Remedies

1. Symptom : Cold and humid feet.
Cause : Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet).
Cure: Maneuver glass until open end is facing upward

2. Symptom: The wall facing you is full of lights.
Cause : You're lying on the floor.
Cure: Position your body at a 90-degree angle to the floor.

3. Symptom : The floor looks blurry.
Cause : You're looking through an empty glass.
Cure: Quickly refill with your favorite beverage.

4. Symptom : The floor is moving.
Cause : You're being dragged away.
Cure: At least ask where they're taking you.

5. Symptom: You hear echoes every time someone speaks.
Cause : You have your glass on your ear.
Cure: Stop making a fool of yourself!

6. Symptom: The room is shaking a lot, everyone is dressed in white and the music is very repetitive.
Cause : You're in an ambulance.
Cure: Don't move. Let the professionals do their job.

7. Symptom: Your dad and all your brothers are looking funny.
Cause : You're in the wrong house.
Cure: Ask if they can point you to your house.