Thursday, 28 January 2010
Indian Tax System
Question 1.. : What are you doing?
Ans. : Business.
Tax : PAY PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 2 : What are you doing in Business?
Ans. : Selling the Goods.
Tax : PAY SALES TAX!
Question 3 : From where are you getting Goods?
Ans. : From other State/Abroad
Tax : PAY CENTRAL SALES TAX, CUSTOM DUTY & OCTROI
Question 4 : What are you getting in Selling Goods?
Ans. : Profit.
Tax : PAY INCOME TAX!
Question 5: How do you distribute profit ?
Ans : By way of dividend
Tax : PAY DIVIDEND DISTRIBUTION TAX
Question 6 : Where you Manufacturing the Goods?
Ans. : Factory...
Tax : PAY EXCISE DUTY!
Question 7 : Do you have Office / Warehouse / Factory?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY MUNICIPAL & FIRE TAX!
Question 8 : Do you have Staff?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAFF PROFESSIONAL TAX!
Question 9 : Doing business in Millions?
Ans. : Yes -- Tax : PAY TURNOVER TAX!
Ans : No -- Tax : Then pay Minimum Alternate Tax
Question 10 : Are you taking out over 25,000 Cash from Bank?
Ans. : Yes, for Salary.
Tax : PAY CASH HANDLING TAX!
Question 11 : Where are you taking your client for Lunch & Dinner?
Ans. : Hotel
Tax : PAY FOOD & ENTERTAINMENT TAX
Question 12 : Are you going Out of Station for Business?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY FRINGE BENEFIT TAX
Question 13 : Have you taken or given any Services?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY SERVICE TAX
Question 14 : How come you got such a Big Amount?
Ans. : Gift on birthday.
Tax : PAY GIFT TAX
Question 15.: Do you have any Wealth?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY WEALTH TAX
Question 16 : To reduce Tension, for entertainment, where are you going?
Ans. : Cinema or Resort.
Tax : PAY ENTERTAINMENT TAX
Question 17 : Have you purchased House?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY STAMP DUTY & REGISTRATION FEE
Question 18 : How you Travel?
Ans. : Bus
Tax : PAY SURCHARGE
Question 19.: Any Additional Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY EDUCATIONAL, ADDITIONAL EDUCATIONAL & SURCHARGE ON ALL THE CENTRAL GOVT.'s TAX
Question 20: Delayed any time Paying Any Tax?
Ans. : Yes
Tax : PAY INTEREST & PENALTY
21) INDIAN : Can I die now??
Ans : Wait, we are about to have the funeral tax! in future.
Ultimate Joke - Before and After Marriage!
He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave?
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me?
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me?
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me?
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me?
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.
after the marriage
you can read it from below to top.
Wednesday, 27 January 2010
BALANCE SHEET OF LIFE
Our Birth is our Opening Balance
Our Death is our Closing Balance
Our Prejudiced Views are our Liabilities
Our Creative Ideas are our Assets
Heart is our Current Asset
Soul is our Fixed Asset
Brain is our Fixed Deposit
Thinking is our Current Account
Achievements are our Capital
Character & Morals, our Stock-in-Trade
Friends are our General Reserves
Values & Behavior are our Goodwill
Patience is our Interest Earned
Love is our Dividend
Children are our Bonus Issues
Education is Brands / Patents
Knowledge is our Investment
Experience is our Premium Account
The Aim is to Tally the Balance Sheet Accurately.
The Goal is to get the Best Presented Accounts Award .
Saturday, 16 January 2010
Interesting Questions and Answers (not for men)
Q: What is the difference between men and puppies?
A: Puppies grow up.
Q: Why do men always have a stupid look on their faces?
A: Because they are
Q: What do men have in common with ceramic tiles?
A: Fix them properly once and you can walk all over them forever.
Q: If you drop a man and a brick out of a plane, which one would hit the ground first?
A: Who cares???
Q: What did God say after he created man?
A: I can do better than this! And then he created woman!!!.
Q: What's the difference between an intelligent man & a UFO ?
A: I don't know, I've never seen either.
Q: What are two reasons why men don't mind their own business?
A: i) no mind
ii) no business
Q: Why did Moses wander in the desert for 40 years?
A: Because even back then men wouldn't ask for directions .
Q: What is the difference between men and pigs?
A: Pigs don't turn into men when they drink
Q: What makes men chase women they have no intention of
marrying?
A: The same urge that makes dogs chase vehicles they have no intention of driving.
Q: What do you do with a man who thinks he's God's gift?
A: Exchange him!!
A: Opposites attract.