Ultimate Joke - Before and After Marriage!

Before marriage: 

He: Yes. At last. It was so hard to wait.
She: Do you want me to leave? 
He: NO! Don't even think about it.
She: Do you love me? 
He: Of course!
She: Have you ever cheated on me? 
He: NO! Why you even asking?
She: Will you kiss me? 
He: Yes!
She: Will you hit me? 
He: No way! I'm not such kind of person!
She: Can I trust you?
He: Yes.

after the marriage

you can read it from below to top.

11 SIGNS U R IN LOVE . . .

ELEVEN
You walk really slow when you're with him/her.

TEN
You feel shy whenever he/she's around.

NINE
You smile when you hear his/her voice.

EIGHT:
When you look at him/her, you can't see the other
People around you, you just see him/her.

SIX:
He/She is all you think about.

FIVE:
You realize you're always smiling when you're
Looking at him/her.

FOUR:
You would do anything for him/her, just to see him/her.

THREE:
While reading this, there was one person on your
Mind this whole time.

TWO:
You were so busy thinking about that person,
You didn't notice number seven was missing

ONE:
You just scrolled up to check & are now silently
Laughing at yourself.

No comments, Please!

« What is it like to have a dysfunctional personal relationship with Jesus?
According to my daughter: Superman is better than God. »
Losing my religion. Why I recently walked away from Christianity. By theBEattitude

I was planning to write up a detailed story about my Christian life and the recent rejection of my faith. But my goal is not to build a case to prove I believed in God or to demonstrate how good of a Christian I was. I did truly believe in God for most of my life and worshiped and prayed to him daily. I believed he was at work in my life at all times and using me to touch other people’s lives.

losing-my-religion
So you might be wondering what changed.

The change was a culmination of things that I could no longer ignore. Faith is belief in the unseen and unprovable, but still requires a foundation for that faith. With the countless religions of the world, I began to question why the god of the Bible is more believable than all other gods worshiped on earth. With the mountain of evidence staring me in the face, my faith began to die.

Last fall, I finally moved past guilt and admitted to myself that I no longer believe in Jesus or the god of the Bible. Surprisingly it was a relief. Not because I wanted to run wild and sin freely, but because I no longer felt the weight a Christian carries. The weight of guilt, unworthiness and fear of god’s judgement. I continue to spend my days striving to be a good husband, father and son. I help others in need around me as often as I can. The big difference is I do these things today because it brings me joy, not because I believe it brings an imaginary god joy.

For those wondering, here is a condensed “Top 20 List” of the things that led to my rejection of Christianity.

1. God is wrathful, jealous, hateful, and kills nations of people like it is a bodily function. He is certainly not just or “holy” in nature.
2. The act of throwing people into infinite torture and punishment for not believing a Jewish guy from 2,000 years ago was God’s son, or unknowingly worshiping the wrong god, is extremely cruel and sadistic.
3. The statements, “God works in mysterious ways,” or “It will all make sense in heaven,” are little more than irrational cop outs. This God allows horrible atrocities to be committed against innocent men, women and children every day.
4. Bloody animal and human sacrifices are illogical demands by a divine god as payment for petty wrong doings. These actions are no different than the rituals of archaic pagan religions. Not to mention the bizarre ritual of symbolically drinking human blood and eating human flesh.
5. If God loves us and wants us to know and believe in him, why be so completely invisible? What is the purpose of being so illusive to those who believe and worship him?
6. God never manifests himself or performs miracles as he regularly did for the Israelites in Old Testament stories.
7. Prayers are never answered. Certainly not in the way Jesus described. Prayer has absolutely no affect on the world around us.
8. Jesus did not fulfill major Old Testament prophesies or even fulfill his own promises and predictions.
9. The authors of much of the Bible are unknown. And of these unknown authors, the men who wrote the gospels likely never even met Jesus considering they were written 40-70 years after his death. A far cry from reliable testimony.
10. The Bible is repeatedly contradictory with itself, reality, and the laws of morality. Couldn’t God inspire a less poorly written book?
11. The Bible is open to interpretation. Everyone interprets it in the way that suits them best or serves their purposes.
12. Throughout history, Christians have justified horrific actions by the Bible and its teaching.
13. The Bible promotes hate and persecution against women, homosexuals and those who worship other gods or no god at all.
14. According to the Bible, nearly 70% percent of the people in the world will burn in hell because they don’t believe Jesus was the son of God.
15. The only reason I was a Christian was because I was indoctrinated into the religion as a child as a result of the culture and region of the world in which I was born.
16. Christianity has no more rational or factual foundation than any other religion on earth that I openly reject.
17. The Christian church is disjointed and can’t even agree with one another.
18. Christians are not at all ethically or morally different from non-Christians.
19. Today, powerful church leaders steal, lie and molest young children. The church repeatedly attempts to cover up these atrocities, only to reluctantly apologize as a last resort.
20. It is absolutely irrational to continue to believe archaic teaching with the amount of knowledge we’ve gained through science and technology. The Bible reads like a book of primitive folklore, not divinely inspired insight into our true reason for existence.

Taj Mahal: (A symbol of love ???) The True Story

No one has ever challenged it except Prof. P. N. Oak, who believes the whole world has been duped. In his book Taj Mahal: The True Story, Oak says the Taj Mahal is not Queen Mumtaz's tomb but an ancient Hindu temple palace of Lord Shiva (then known as Tejo Mahalaya ) .
In the course of his research Oak discovered that the Shiva temple palace was usurped by Shah Jahan from then Maharaja of Jaipur, Jai Singh. In his own court chronicle, Badshahnama, Shah Jahan admits that an exceptionally beautiful grand mansion in Agra was taken from Jai Singh for Mumtaz's burial .
The ex-Maharaja of Jaipur still retains in his secret collection two orders from Shah Jahan for surrendering the Taj building. Using captured temples and mansions, as a burial place for dead courtiers and royalty was a common practice among Muslim rulers.

For example, Humayun,Akbar, Etmud-ud-Daula and Safdarjung are all buried in such mansions. Oak's inquiries began with the name of Taj Mahal. He says the term " Mahal " has never been used for a building in any Muslim countries from Afghanisthan to Algeria . "The unusual explanation that the term Taj Mahal derives from Mumtaz Mahal was illogical in atleast two respects.

Firstly, her name was never Mumtaz Mahal but Mumtaz-ul-Zamani ," he writes.
Secondly, one cannot omit the first three letters 'Mum' from a woman's name to derive the remainder as the name for the building."Taj Mahal, he claims, is a corrupt version of . Oak also says the love story of Mumtaz and Shah Jahan is a fairy tale cre ated by court sycophants, blundering historians and sloppy archaeologists Not a single royal chronicle of Shah Jahan's time corroborates the love story.

Furthermore, Oak cites several documents suggesting the Taj Mahal predates Shah Jahan's era, and was a temple dedicated to Shiva, worshipped by Rajputs of Agra city. For example, Prof. Marvin Miller of New York took a few samples from the riverside doorway of the Taj. Carbon dating tests revealed that the door was 300 years older than Shah Jahan. European traveler Johan Albert Mandelslo,who visited Agra in 1638 (only seven years after Mumtaz's death), describes the life of the cit y in his memoirs. But he makes no reference to the Taj Mahal being built. The writings of Peter Mundy, an English visitor to Agra within a year of Mumtaz's death, also suggest the
Taj was a noteworthy building well before Shah Jahan's time.

Prof. Oak points out a number of design and architectural inconsistencies that support the belief of the Taj Mahal being a typical Hindu temple rather than a mausoleum. Many rooms in the Taj Mahal have remained sealed since Shah Jahan's time and are still inaccessible to the public .
Oak asserts they contain a headless statue of Lord Shiva and other objects commonly used for worship rituals in Hindu temples Fearing political backlash, Indira Gandhi's government tried to have Prof. Oak's book withdrawn from the bookstores, and threatened the Indian publisher of the first edition dire consequences . There is only one way to discredit or validate Oak's research.

The current government should open the sealed rooms of the Taj Mahal under U.N. supervision, and let international experts investigate.

Everlasting Problem

What is Love ?

Are you there because it's what everyone wants?
It isn't love, it's loyalty.

Are you there because they kissed you, or held your hand?
It isn't love, it's low confidence.

Do you stay for their confessions of love, because you don't want to hurt them?
It isn't love, it's pity.

Do you belong to them because their sight makes your heart skip a beat?
It isn't love, it's an infatuation.

Do you pardon their faults because you care about them?
It isn't love, it's friendship

Do you tell them every day they are the only one you think of?
It isn't love, it's a lie.

Are you willing to give all of your favorite things for their sake?
It isn't love, it's charity.

Does your heart ache and break when they're sad?
Then it's love.

Do you cry for their pain, even when they're strong?
Then it's love.

Do their eyes see your true heart, and touch your soul so deeply it hurts?
Then it's love.

Do you stay because a blinding, incomprehensible mix of pain and relation pulls you close and hold you
there?
Then it's love.

Do you accept their faults because they're a part of who they are?
Then it's love.

Are you attracted to others, but stay with them faithfully without regret?
Then it's love.


Could you allow them to leave you, not because they want to but because they have to?
Then it's love.

Would you give them your heart, your life, your death?
Then it's love.

Now, if love is painful, and tortures us so, why do we love?
Why is it all we search for in life?
This pain, this agony?
Why is it all we long for?
This torture, this powerful death of self?
Why?

The answer is so simple cause it's...LOVE.
It is such an addictive that people who are not having it wish to experience and share it.
Life has no meaning without having love in it.
The love can be in any form but requires the above-mentioned qualities to be true love.

May god bless all of us with true Love -the greatest treasure of anybody's life!

Love Installing: Technological view

INSTALLING LOVE


Tech Support: Yes, ... how can I help you?

Customer: Well, after much consideration, I've decided to install LOVE. Can you guide me though the process?

Tech Support: Yes. I can help you. Are you ready to proceed?

Customer: Well, I'm not very technical, but I think I'm ready. What do I do first?

Tech Support: The first step is to open your Heart. Have you located your Heart?

Customer: Yes, but there are several other programs running now. Is it okay to install Love while they are running?

Tech Support: What programs are running?

Customer: Let's see, I have Past Hurt, Low Self-Esteem, Grudge, and Resentment running right now.

Tech Support: No problem, Love will gradually erase Past Hurt from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory but it will no longer disrupt other programs. Love will eventually override Low Self-Esteem with a module of its own called High Self-Esteem. However, you have to completely turn off Grudge and Resentment. Those programs prevent Love from being properly installed. Can you turn those off?
Customer: I don't know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Tech Support: With pleasure.Go to your start menu and invoke Forgiveness.Do this as many times as necessary until Grudge and Resentment have been completely erased.
Customer: Okay, done! Love has started installing itself. Is that normal?

Tech Support: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other Hearts in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops! I have an error message already. It says, "Error - Program not run on external components." What should I do?
Tech Support: Don't worry. It means that the Love program is set up to run on Internal Hearts, but has not yet been run on your Heart. In non-technical terms, it simply means you have to Love yourself before you can Love others.

Customer: So, what should I do?
Tech Support: Pull down Self-Acceptance; then click on the following files: Forgive-Self Realize Your Worth; and Acknowledge your Limitations.

Customer: Okay, done.
Tech Support: Now, copy them to the "My Heart" directory. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching faulty programming. Also, you need to delete Verbose Self-Criticism from all directories and empty your Recycle Bin to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My heart is filling up with new files. Smile is playing on my monitor and Peace and Contentment are copying themselves all over My Heart.Is this normal?

Tech Support: Sometimes. For others it takes awhile, but eventually everything gets it at the proper time. So LOVE is installed and running. One more thing before we hang up. LOVE is Freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everyone you meet. They will in turn share it with others and return some cool modules back to you.