Truth is stranger than Fiction

WHY INDIA GOT INDEPENDENCE

Why the British left India? Why Lord Mount batten decided to leave India? any guess plz.......
* Nethaji Subash Chandra Bose ?

* M.K. gandhi.

* Baghat Singh

* Bengalis

* Punjabis

* or any other person

Answer

check the Photo

Letters of a Geek

(Now-a-days the letter writing becoming scarce. a sample letter by a geek is for your perusal, Please)

A Fantastic Letter regarding a NEW SOFTWARE

Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0 :-)

Dear Tech Support Team:

Last year I upgraded from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0.

I soon noticed that the new program began unexpected child-processes that took up a lot of space and valuable resources.

In addition, Wife 1.0 installed itself into all other programs and now monitors all other system activities.

Applications such as BachelorNights 10.3, Cricket 5.0, BeerWithBuddies 7.5, and Outings 3.6 no longer runs, crashing the system whenever selected. I can't seem to keep Wife 1.0 in the background while attempting to run my favorite applications.

I'm thinking about going back to Girlfriend 1.0 , but the 'uninstall' doesn't work on Wife 1.0.

Please help!

Thanks,
"A Troubled User"


REPLY:

Dear Troubled User:

This is a very common problem that people complain about.

Many people upgrade from Girlfriend 1.0 to Wife 1.0, thinking that it is just a Utilities and Entertainment program.

Wife 1.0 is an OPERATING SYSTEM and is designed by its Creator to run EVERYTHING!!!

It is also impossible to delete Wife 1.0 and to return to Girlfriend 1.0.

It is impossible to uninstall, or purge the program files from the system once installed.

You cannot go back to Girlfriend 1.0 because Wife 1.0 is designed not to allow this. (Look in your Wife 1.0 Manual under Warnings-Alimony-Child Support) .

I recommend that you keep Wife1.0 and work on improving the environment.

I suggest installing the background application "Yes Dear" to alleviate software augmentation.

The best course of action is to enter the command C:\APOLOGIZE because ultimately you will have to give the APOLOGIZE command before
the system will return to normal anyway.

Wife 1.0 is a great program, but it tends to be very high maintenance. Wife 1.0 comes with several support programs, such as Clean 2.5, Sweep 3.0, Cook 1.5 and DoLaundry 4.2. However, be very careful how you use these programs.
Improper use will cause the system to launch the
program NagNag 9.5 . Once this happens, the only way to improve the performance of Wife 1.0 is to purchase additional software. I recommend....
Costumes 2.1 and Jewellery 5.0

STATUTORY WARNING : DO NOT, under any circumstances, install Secretary With Short Skirt 3.3. This application is not supported by Wife 1.0 and will cause irreversible damage to the operating system

Humour for U

BEST OF SARDARS

There were 4 Sardars in Mumbai. They decided to start a business.
They had a lot of discussions on the type of business and finally decided to
start a hotel.
They selected the best of locations and cooks and built the hotel.
The hotel was inaugrated and was awaiting its first customer.
The Sardars waited and waited but nobody turned up.
The story was the same the next day. A week passed but noboby turned up.

WHY?
Bcos there was a sign at the entrance "Visitors not allowed."


After the failure of their hotel they decided to start an auto garage.
They bought the best of car servicing equipments and soon started the garage.
The 4 Sardars waited that day for the first car to arrive but no car entered
their Garage.
They waited for one day, 2 days ,a week but no car came to their garage.

WHY?
B'cos their garage was on the first floor.


After this failure they decided to fall back on the good old taxi driving.
They bought a new Premier Padmini running on CNG and began to look for
passengers.
They drew past Churchgate but nobody hailed their taxi.
They went to Nariman point yet nobody hailed their taxi.
They drove to Chatrapati Shivaji Terminus, even there nobody hailed their taxi.

In desperation they kept on driving all around Mumbai but alas no one hailed
their taxi.

WHY?
B'cos all the four Sardars were sitting in the taxi.


All the 4 Sardars were very disgusted with their naseeb and decided to push
their taxi into the sea at Marine Lines.
They started pushing their taxi.
They pushed the whole day and were very exhausted but the taxi did not move
even an inch.
They decided to rest for the night and start the next day.
The next day the story repeated itself.
The taxi just wouldn't move.
They pushed for a whole week but the taxi wouldn't budge.

WHY?
B'cos two sardarjis were pushing from front and two from behind.

Something Interesting

It is physically impossible for pigs to look up into the sky.

The "sixth sick sheik's sixth sheep's sick" is said to be the toughest tongue twister in the English language.

If you sneeze too hard, you can fracture a rib. If you try to suppress a sneeze; you can rupture a blood vessel in your head or neck and die.

Each king in a deck of playing cards represents great king from history. "Spades" - King David; "Clubs" - Alexander the Great; " Hearts" - Charlemagne; "Diamonds" - Julius Caesar.

Relationships

Relationships in India and Abroad

Husband In India - A boring human species, who listens more to his mother than you, and orders you around to serve him, his parents and siblings.
Outside India - Still boring, but now a useful human species that comes in handy when the house needs to be vacuumed.

Friend
In India - A person whose house you can drop into any time of the day or night and you'll always be welcome.
Outside India - A person whom you have to call first to check and make sure he is not busy.

Wife
In India - A woman who gives you your clothes and towel when you go to take a shower.
Outside India - A woman who yells at you not to leave tub dirty when you go to take bath.

Son
In India - A teenager, who without asking will carry your grocery bags from the market.
Outside India - A teenager, who suddenly remembers he has lot of homework when you start mowing the lawn.

Daughter
In India - A lovely doll, who brings tears to your eyes during her marriage.
Outside India - A lovely doll, who brings you to tears long before her marriage.

Father
In India - A person you are afraid of, and who is never to be disobeyed.
Outside India - A person to whom you pretend to obey, after all he is the one paying your college tuition.

Indian Engineer
In India - A person with a respectable job and earning lots.
Outside India - A person without a secure job, who always dreams one day he will be rich.

Doctor
In India - A respectable person with OK income.
Outside India - A money making machine, who has a money spending machine at home called "doctor's wife".

Bhangra
In India - A vigorous Punjabi festival dance.
Outside India - A dance you do, when you don't know how to dance.

Software Engineer
In India - A high-tech guy, always speaks in American accent, always anxious to queue in the consulate visa line.
Outside India - The same hi-tech guy, who does Ganapati Puja everyday, and says 'This is my last year in the US (or wherever)'every year.

A Green Card holder bachelor

In India - The guy can't speak Hindi, parents of good looking girls are dying to hook him, wears jacket in summer, says he has a BMW back there.
Outside India - The guy can't speak proper English, wears jacket all the time, works in a Candy store at Manhattan, dreams of owning a BMW.

Planning

Why Planning is important?

One Night 4 college students were playing till late night and could not study for the test which was scheduled for the next day. In the morning they thought of a plan. They made themselves look as dirty with grease and dirt. They then went up to the Dean and said that they had gone out to a wedding last night and on their return the tire of their car burst and they had to push the car all the way back and that they were in no condition to appear for the test.

So the Dean said they could have the re-test after 3 days. They thanked him and said they would be ready by that time.

On the third day they appeared before the Dean. The Dean said that as this was a Special Condition Test, all four were required to sit in separate classrooms for the test. They all agreed as they had prepared well in the last 3 days.

The Test consisted of 2 questions with a total of 100 Marks.

Q.1.. Your Name......................... (2 MARKS)

Q.2. which tire burst? (98 MARKS)
a) Front Left
b) Front Right
c) Back Left
d) Back Right.....!!!

True story from IIT Bombay...Batch 1992

Fully owned by our Nation

Our government really takes care of us. They even give us free income tax forms.

comments / no comments

Love is a word made up of two vowels, two consonants and two fools.

Failure: other side

Failure: Known / Unknown facts
Failure doesn't mean you are a failure... ...it does mean you haven't
succeeded yet.
Failure doesn't mean you have accomplished nothing... ...it does mean you
have learned something.
Failure doesn't mean you have been a fool... ...it does mean you had a lot
of faith.
Failure doesn't mean you have been disgraced... ...it does mean you were
willing to try.
Failure doesn't mean you don't have it... ...it does mean you have to do
something in a different way.
Failure doesn't mean you are inferior... ...it does mean you are not
perfect.
Failure doesn't mean you've wasted your life... ...it does mean you've a
reason to start afresh.
Failure doesn't mean you should give up... ...it does mean you should try
harder.
Failure doesn't mean you'll never make it... ...it does mean it will take a
little longer.
Failure doesn't mean God has abandoned you... ...it does mean God has a
better idea!

Lovingly, Yours.
Thulasi. madhavan

How to die daily ?

Easiest way to die:
1. Have a cigar daily - you will die10 years early.
2. Have drinks daily - you will die 30 years early.
3. Be lazy with jealousy - you will die daily!

FOR MY FRIENDS ONLY. (Gents, in particular)

WITH OUT A  GIRL FRIEND
1. You can stare at any Girl.......
2. You don't have to spend money on her.
3. You won't get boring result in ur papers.
4. Having a girlfriend is hot, not having a girlfriend is automatically cool, and every one to be a cool guy loves .
5. This can be more to life than just waiting for the bloody phone to ring
6. You won't have to tolerate someone else defining, "right" and "wrong" for u.
7 Girlfriend can get so possessive that you can't do anything according ur wishes anymore.
8 You can buy gifts for mom, dad, sis or grandpa instead of a girlfriend and have a happier family life.
9 You won't have to waste paper writing love letters.No more endless waiting for ur date to arrive at some weird shop\place
10. You can have more friends, as u will have more time for them
11. You wont have to tell lie to anybody and, therefore, u'll sin less.
12 You can have good night's sleep-no need to dream about her.
13.You wont have to fight over having a 'special' freind with ur folks.
14. No nonstop nonsense.
15. You wont have drown in the pool of her tears.
16 No more tension.
17.You can be "urself"
18. You wont have to hide your telephone bills...
So Try to AVOID Girl Friends in your Life...!
                 if, send me the address.( not yours).

Lovingly,

Yours

thulasi.madhavan

Take it Easy

Effective Communication !!

    Jack and Max are walking from religious service.
     Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.
          Max replies, "Why don't you ask the Priest?"
                So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest,may I smoke while I pray?"

    But the Priest says, "No, my son, you may not.
                                         That's utter disrespect to our religion."

     Jack goes back to his friend and tells him what the good Priest told him.
     Max says, "I'm not surprised.
                         You asked the wrong question.
                          Let me try."

   And so Max goes up to the Priest and asks, "Priest, may I pray while I smoke?"
   To which the Priest eagerly replies,"By all means,my son. By all means."

Moral : The reply you get depends on the question you ask.
(For Example : Can I work on this project while I'm on leave:-)