Tuesday 22 December 2009

known laws


naturally these laws are unavoidable laws in our day to day life.

1. Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease your nose will begin to itch or you'll have to pee.

2. Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.

3. Law of probability: The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of the Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal.

5. Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the very next morning you will have a flat tire.

6. Variation Law: If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will start to move faster than the one you are in now. (works every time).

7. Bath Theorem: When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone rings.

8. Law of Close Encounters: The probability of meeting someone you know increases when you are with someone you don't want to be seen with.

9. Law of the Result: When you try to prove to someone that a machine won't work, it will.

10. Law of Biomechanics: The severity of the itch is inversely proportional to the reach.

11. Theater Rule: At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle arrive last.

12. Law of Coffee: As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold.

13. Murphy's Law of Lockers: If there are only two people in a locker room, they will have adjacent lockers.

14. Law of Dirty Rugs/Carpets: The chances of an open-faced jelly sandwich of landing face down on a floor covering are directly correlated to the newness, color and cost of the carpet/rug.

15. Law of Location: No matter where you go, there you are.

16. Law of Logical Argument: Anything is possible if you don't know what you are talking about.

17. Brown's Law: If the shoe fits, it's ugly.

18. Oliver's Law: A closed mouth gathers no feet.

19. Wilson's Law: As soon as you find a product that you really like, they will stop making it

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Tuesday 1 December 2009

Women's wish

Husband for Sale
So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband...


A store that sells husbands has just opened in Mumbai, where a woman may go to choose a husband.

Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates. You may visit the store ONLY ONCE!

There are six floors and the attributes of the men increase as the shopper ascends the flights.

There is, however, a catch. .... You may choose any man from a particular floor, or you may choose to go up a floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

On the first floor the sign on the door reads:


Floor 1 - These men have jobs and love the Lord.


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The second floor sign reads:


Floor 2 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, and love kids.


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The third floor sign reads:


Floor 3 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, and are extremely good looking.



" Wow," she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.


*********


She goes to the fourth floor and sign reads:


Floor 4 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead good looking and help with the housework.


"Oh, mercy me!" she exclaims, "I can hardly stand it!"


*********


Still, she goes to the fifth floor and sign reads:


Floor 5 - These men have jobs, love the Lord, love kids, are drop- dead gorgeous, help with the housework, and have a strong romantic streak.


She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor and the sign reads:


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Floor 6 - You are visitor 4,363,013 to this floor. There are no men on this floor. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please.



Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store. Watch your step as you exit the building, and have a nice day!


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